Ninja history is mostly kept in secrecy and only passed down ninja to ninja, so not many non-ninjas know about ninja history. I will give you some hints to the secrets of ninja history, but in order to give you the full briefing you will have to become a ninja yourself.
Ninja history goes back millions of years, all the way to when earth and the first human were created. Yes, the first human was also the first ninja. Before Adam performed the first known sin, he performed many others even God did not know of.
The first ninja performed all of his tasks in the darkness of night. As it is written in the ninja bible "God said 'Let there be light!' then his jaw dropped." This is as much as I can let you know. To learn the rest of this story and ninja history you will have to become a ninja.
Ninjas can create magnetic fields with their teeth. This is why ninjas always have perfect teeth, unlike pirates.
There have been many ninjas since Adam, such as Napoleon, Columbus, Sun Tzu, all which have faked their deaths, but the next one that played a major role in history is George Bush.
Dubbya uses the deadly monkey style technique. Little do people know, because ninjas can easily hide their true identities, that Dubbya assassinated taliban leader Osama Bin Ladden. Dubbya ripped through over 500 terrorists and then with his deadly monkey poison (made out of twigs, leaves, and sloth teeth) poisoned Osama through peer pressure.
Van Halen is a ninja. The rest of ninja history is being made now.
Ninjas start learning the way of the warrior from a very early age. The average ninja starts learning at the age of three, but there have been known cases of not getting started until the age of eighteen. Most of what ninjas learn is very secretive so I can't go into much detail, so here is a brief list of the subjects in order:
As you can see from the list ninjas learn much more than fighting. Most ninjas cover all of these subjects before they are fourteen, but ninjas never stop their education.
I first became skilled as a ninja while I was still living in my mother's womb. I snuck out while she was sleeping and learned my techniques from a ninja clan I am currently the leader of. My major accomplishments include becoming the 18th youngest ninja of all time, licking the south pole without getting my tongue stuck and plucking all of the whiskers off a cheetah running 70 mph.
My next task is to invert the stripes on all of the skunks in North Korea.
